Relena's going crazy
by neco-0
Summary: Woot! Chapter 6 up now! This is from Duo's point of view, and a description really doesn't work for this story..just read to find out! You know you wanna!
1. The beginning

Disclaimer: No, I do not own any of the characters on this story. If I did, that would be wonderful, and I would have A Lot of fun with the character, let's just leave it there, okay? @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Duo came into his apartment around 3:00 am, eating a candy bar. Now, this behavior is usual or him, staying out late and not telling people where he has gone to, and it was quite fun. It was not like a lot of people really cared, unless Duo came and interrupted their sleep. He laughed to himself and opened his door.  
  
Now, normally Duo came home to an empty house. Not that it really was a house, just a nice apartment that he really can't afford, but he landlady thinks that he is, 'just as cute as a button', so she rents it to him half price. She is a nice old woman who gets visits from grandchildren all the time. Yes, they are loud, almost as loud as Duo on mass amounts of caffeine.  
  
Anyway, when Duo came through the door, he found that Quatre was there. He was sitting there, staring at nothing, hands folded neatly in his lap. Heero was standing in the corner, hair in his eyes as always, somber expression on his face. There was something wrong, Duo could feel it, like it was in the air, or the aura, or something like that.  
  
"What's wrong?" Duo asked, closing the door with a soft 'thud'.  
  
"Re...Rel......" Quatre stammered, still staring at nothing at all. Well, it was either nothing or a box of salted peanuts that were spilled all over the floor in a pattern that, to Duo, looked like two people doing some actions that shall not be named in polite conversation.  
  
It was obvious that Quatre was not going to say much at the moment. The blond boy was usually the optimistic one; the one could never tell a lie and all that other mushy stuff that was called 'Injustice!' so many times a day by a certain Asian. What could have made him be like this? This stammering, this traumatized? He looked as if he had seen a brutal murder, or a pink elephant, or had walked in on someone in the shower.  
  
"Quatre? Heero? What happened? Did your coffee maker explode?" Duo asked, walking in a few steps. Coffee makers are such important things you know; they are the driving force of the morning. It is what millions of people around the world drink every day endlessly. It is a major cash crop of so many countries. Duo knew that they all could not live with Heero if it were not for that wonderful drink.  
  
"Relena....tried....to kill me!" Quatre stammers.  
  
"Well, that almost as worse..." Duo laughs. 


	2. The story

Again, I do not own anything...Nothing. Zip. Nada! *sobs* Thanks to everyone how reviewed! You all made me feel wonderful! ^_~ Thanks, Alex, for the idea.  
  
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"This is serious, Duo!" Cried Quatre, well, as well as he could. It kind of came out all squeaky and muffled. "I am just trying to make you feel better you know....." Duo said with a shrug and dropped his keys on the end table next to the door. "Relena did what?" "She tried to kill me!!! How else can I put it!?!?!" "Just start from the beginning, okay, Quatty?" Usually, Quatre scolded me for calling him that, but not today. Not now. This was really bad, I could tell. I mean, it wasn't as if there were trumpets sounding and fireworks lighting up the sky spelling it out, but it was almost as clear. I looked over at Heero, though it was not very fruitful. He just stood beside the wall, arms folded across his chest, hair in his eyes, watching Quatre. He looked protective, angry, and all around irresistible. "Well, it all started when I went home...."  
  
***Music and flashback whooshes like in movies***  
  
Quatre came through the door and looked around. His clothes were neat, and his hair was perfect, though it was extremely windy outside. The house was quiet, almost too quiet for his liking. Though it was like this a lot, except when his friends came over. He smiled a little and took off his coat.  
All of a sudden, after he had walked in and hung up his coat, he heard  
a tea pot rattle. "What in the world..." he asked himself and walked into the kitchen. There he found terrible sight, a sight that is almost too horrible to describe. Relena, in a pink frilly apron, hair tied neatly into a bun, and wearing what Quatre would never expect Relena to wear: a pink mini skirt that matched the apron and a tight shirt. Quatre tried to hide his astonishment and fear, but it was too hard to mask it.  
  
***Duo's voice chimes in and the flashback pauses, everything still as stone***  
  
"Hahahahahaha! A mini Skirt?!?!" "Duo!!!! Shut up! I am trying to tell a story!!!" Quatre scolded. "Oh, sorry..."  
  
***start flashback again***  
  
"Hi Quatre!" Relena smiled and placed the teapot on a tray next to some ceramic cups. "Care for some tea?" "Relena? Wh....what are you doing here?" Quatre asked, trying to be polite. "Making you tea, silly..." She replied, shaking her head and picking up the tray. "What does it look like?" "Frankly, I don't know." "I can educate you..." she says and set the tray down and started coming close to him. "Relena, maybe you should go..." Quatre started to say, moving back a step. "Nonsense. I want to be here. Do you want be here? With you?" She smirks, and takes a few more steps closer to him, but he moves back. "But, I......I am.....un....uncomfo-" He started to say but she kept moving toward him and she cut him off. "Oh, don't send me away, Quatre. Please," Suddenly Quatre felt the wall behind him, which was not good because she was advancing on him. "You don't know what its like to be me, not having anyone, no one loving you..." She was close to him now, so close that he could feel her breath on his face. "Relena, you should go. You have a boyfriend, a very protective one too that would remove my stomach with a spoon easily, and he loves you just fine." Quatre looked at her and tried to push her away. "Boyfriend? No, I have no boyfriend, what are you talking about?" She asked, grin on her face as she came closer to him. "Trent, you know? Come, stop this game. Go and be with him Relena." Quatre pushes her away again and walked to the other side of the kitchen. "You....don't want me?" She asked, grin fading. Her clothes were a little messed he noticed, but she did not seem to care. A look of fury came on her face. She reached over and grabbed the teapot and smashed it on the table. She ran towards him, waving the broken piece of expensive ceramic sharp shard at him.  
  
"Rel.....Wh.....a...." He was speechless as she came towards him and started to slash about an inch from his nose. "You want me, you know it!" She says, and slashes again. "Rel...no...I...rel....." He was up against the wall again. Fortunatly that is the moment Heero came into the kitchen. He was supposed to come over to get his laptop that he had left there for Quatre to get repaired. He looked at Relena, who was holding the shard to Quatre's throat and pressing herself against him as she yelled, "You want me! Say it or I will slit your throat!" Quatre had a look of pure terror. Heero went over, grabbed Relena's neat hair and dragged her to the door as she screamed things that Quatre had never thought she would ever say, and also that are not to be brought up in polite conversation. Heero threw her out and locked the door before he went over and saw to Quatre, who was as pale as a sheet, mouth hanging open, eyes wide, and unspeaking.  
  
***End flashback*****  
  
"So...that's it?" Duo asked, flopping down on the floor. Quatre looked at him and started to yell. "That's it? THAT'S IT!!!!! She tried to kill me, you weirdo!!!" He started to rave about things and Duo did not notice until after he was screaming for about five minutes. He was too busy trying not to watch Heero, who was staring at Duo, arms still crossed, hair still in his eyes, and looking even better to Duo than before Quatre's tale. "DUO!!!! ARE YOU LISTNING?!?!?!" Quatre finally asked. "Yeah, and shut up, okay? You are going to wake up people." He said and patted Quatre's back, sitting up. "You will be fine, okay?" "It's not him that he is worried about," Heero said, eyes looking away and out a window. "It's you." "Okay, now I think your coffee maker blew up." Duo said with a laugh. 


	3. chapter three no better name for it

I do not own anything *tear* Be advised, be aware, read further at your own risk. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ They weren't laughing. It seemed as if they were serious, but, it just seemed so absurd. "Why? What do you think will happen to me?" I asked, not really caring about the answer. "Do you not remember what happened a few years ago, Duo?" Quatre asked softly. "A lot of things happened." I glance at Heero, who was staring at me again. Why was he doing that? Why can't he look at something else with those deep ... eyes .....that .....bore....into....your...soul? I snapped back to reality when Quatre started to speak again. "You know, between you, and....Relena?" He said the name with spite. "Oh....that....uh....I haven't thought about that...in...a while..." I stumbled over the words. I didn't want to say them. But they had to come out, one way or another. "I...pushed it....out of my memory...." "Don't blame you..." Heero said. "She is odd enough normally. Now, what exactly did happen? There are many versions, you know..." I looked over at Heero again and saw that sparkle in his eyes, that sweet familiar sparkle that only appeared when Heero was planning something. "Wouldn't you like to know...?" I defended myself. I didn't want to tell him that....that....ugh, the thought made me sick. "Come, tell us, please?" They both put on puppy dog eyes, and how can anyone resist that? I mean, it looked like Quatre was about to cry, his eyes went so wide. And you don't want to start him with the tears....its not good. A perfectly good pillow was ruined the last time Quatre cried. Some white stuff was on was on it....I didn't ask, just threw it out. "It wasn't my fault! Honest! I was drunk on sugar and.....and...I didn't mean to!!!!" "You're dodging it..." "Ugh....I told her secrets okay? That is the monster thing. I told." "OOOO told what?" Quatre sat on the edge of the couch. "Tell....please? I am dieing to know!!" I gave up. I wasn't going to win. And besides, I told before. What does it matter now? "Relena....well, half of her wants to be a man...." I sighed and shook my head. Bad visions came into my head, visions of Relena coming at me with a baseball bat. She had really done that too. "What?" Both Heero and Quatre asked. "Half of her wants to be a man..." "What half?"  
  
"Guess." "Oh.....THAT half..." Laughter burst out then. I have to admit, it is kind of hard to picture Relena with male parts. "So, that's why you are afraid for me?" I asked after a few minutes. "Yes, if she went after Quatre thinking he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, who knows what will happen if she remembers that you know her......desires..." Heero said, very formally. "Exactly." Quatre did not seem very broken up anymore for some reason. "So...what will happen now?" I asked. I wanted to know what I will do if Relena comes to kill me or...even worse....take all m peanut butter way. 'Mmmm' I thought, thinking of the delicious stuff. Just thinking of it made my mouth water. "We get you out of this apartment. She might come." Quatre stood up, and I just stared at him. "Where....will....I....go?" I stammered, still staring stupidly up at him. "My place." Heero said eyes half closed. This time, I stared at Heero, absently thinking of peanut butter at the same time. "I am hungry...can I have a sandwich before we go?" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Neco: Mua-hahahahaha! We are the anime freaks with sick little minds! Imaginary Quatre: Stop that! Imaginary Duo: Why? It seems great to me. Imaginary Heero: *Stands there and shakes his head.* 


	4. Would you look at thatits Chapter 4!

I own nothing...at....all....except a guitar I bought from this dude and its red with a white scratch plate...Imaginary Duo GET ON WITH IT! Neco Fine. Fine...

I could not believe what I was hearing. I was truly flabbergasted. Relena trying to seduce Quatre. Relena coming after me. And this is the best part...I am going to Heero's house! To live and hide out! The boy that had been the item of all my erotic dreams was taking me to stay at his place.

All alone.

By ourselves.

If only he were gay.

I sighed as I snapped back to the reality that Heero has a girlfriend, one of his many flings, andthat he and I were watching as Quatre tried to pack some of my clothing into a bag, all the while

babbling about how there are pizza boxes and hamburger containers and Chinese food tins that had mold on them and tons of empty Peanut Butter Jars all over the floor and how he can't make any since from this place and where were my boxers and do I even have any boxers and do I have a cell phone and how I should get one and how I should hire a housekeeper and....

I stopped listening. Instead I was watching Heero, who had taken a few steps in front of me and the mention of Peanut Butter had put the images of dreams I had had about Heero so many times. My eyes traveled down from the back of his head and his messy hair followed the contours of his back, slowly, down, down...

Quatre pushed past Heero and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him a bit forcefully, still babbling endlessly.

They took me downstairs and tossed me into a car, still forcefully, and I got a wonderful view of Quatre's ride. It was a 1987 Red Mustang Convertible with a leather interior that literally sparkled. I was afraid I was going to wrinkle the seats.

Quatre sat in the driver's seat, I was sitting shotgun, and Heero was in the back seat. Quatre took off, heading to Heero's Apartment, and I had the sneaking feeling that Heero's eyes were watching me the whole way there. It made me nervous and stimulated at the same time as those fantasies popped back into my mind.


	5. oO Could it possibly be Chapter 5?

Guess what! I own Ab...so....lu...te...ly....NOTHING! Just trying to reiterate that, ya know, don't want to get sued and...Yeah, its coming...

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I couldn't believe how damn clean Heero's place was. I mean, this place was sparkling. Even the Mr. Coffee looked like it was never used. It probably wasn't.

Quatre had thrown the bag at me, literally, and left us in a cloud of dust. Not even a good bye. Well, I can't really blame him, I would be the same way is Relena tried to...

I stopped thinking about it. Too painful.

Heero told me that my room was the second on the left down the hall, and he disappeared into his room, slamming the door. I just couldn't get the image of Heero's brown hair whipping around in the wind on the way here.

I went into my room, and it looked like a normal guest room. Nothing special. At all. This place was really boring.

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I dumped my bag and laid down. I was tired. It was, after all, like four am.

When I got up, it was eight o'clock pm the next day. Man, I can sleep a long time, eh?

I got up and walked out into the hall. While I was heading for the bathroom, I heard some clanking and groaning from Heero's room. Sleepily I went to the door and peeked in to see what he was doing. What else could I do? What harm could come from it, right?

Mega harm.

There were guns on a table, like fifteen, but that wasn't the best part. He had weights, a bench press! My Gods, what a sight that was. I could not take my eyes off of him. There Heero was, benching about 180, no shirt and those spandex shorts, his hair plastered to his head with perspiration, his chest glazed and shiny with sweat...My Gods, it was like my Fantasy come true.

Then, for one reason or another, I am not quite sure; my pants began to get tighter. I knew I should go back to my room and stop watching him but Heero was so...uhh...man I can't even think of the word that described it. He didn't notice me watching him, and I stood there in that doorway, peeking through a crack in the doorway, my pants seemingly getting smaller...and smaller....

That's when Heero, the brown haired boy that I have come to have the HUGEST crush on stood up and turned to his chest of drawers...which happened to be right by the door. Disaster...

Oh my Gods, what is he going to think?

Me...

Here...

In the door way...

Watching him....

My pants were so tight by the time I was able to move and stumble back to my room, I was worried that Heero noticed.

What am I saying, he had to have noticed. Heck, if there was a cat, it would have noticed. The clouds noticed. The trees noticed. Oxygen noticed. THE PEANUT BUTTER NOTICED. How could Heero not notice it? He is like the most observant guy I know....

I locked my door and leaned against the door. I was safe from Heero for now, here in my room.

Away from the sight of the hottest guy I ever met.

Man I wish he were gay.

I really, really wish.

Maybe If I ask Santa really nicely and say I have been good...?

Thought so....no chance.

Everything was fine until the door I was leaning on shook like there was an earthquake by a certain sweaty, bench pressing boy knocking on it while I was in the middle of fantasizing about erotic things between him and I.

C-R-A-P

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Duo THAT'S IT?!?!? HOW CAN THAT BE IT?

Neco Calm down.....

Duo NO! Write more, damnit!

Neco No!

Duo Yes!

Neco NO!

Duo Yes!  
  
Neco N-

Heero Shut up or I will kill you both, Bakas...

Duo and Neco MEANIE!

(Please R&R?)


	6. Surprised Embarrassment

I am sorry I took so long to post; I have a few more chapters coming. If you have not read the past chapters, I suggest that you DO because you may not understand what will be going on.

I ran back as quickly as I could to my room. I didn't know what I was doing, why I didn't get the hell out of there sooner. Maybe it was just the vision of Heero lifting his weights, all that heat coming off of him…

Anyway, I shut the door and sat on my bed, my pants seeming to get bigger again. I buried my face under my pillow and screamed into my bed at my stupidity. How could I have let him see me! Everything is ruined! He won't want me to stay at his house anymore, I won't be able to spy on him at all, and worst of all Heero will hate me. That's all I was thinking, how I didn't want him to hate me.

As I though about all of this there was a knock at my door. I assumed it was Quatre or someone to tell me to go somewhere else, that Heero didn't want me.

In a muffled voice, said, "Come in."

The person said nothing at all; they walked to the bed and sat down on it beside me. My head was still under the pillow when I felt a hand take my braid in a hand, then I felt my hair being unbraided. Confused, I sat up and looked at the person.

Immediately I turned beat red.

It was Heero.


End file.
